


A Breath like Another Cigarette

by CosmoKid



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: F/F, Female Moriarty, Female Sebastian, Mild Smut, Moriarty is Dead, Unhealthy Relationships, squint or you'll miss it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-26
Updated: 2016-08-26
Packaged: 2018-08-11 02:10:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7871653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CosmoKid/pseuds/CosmoKid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Severin Moran is addicted to Jamie Moriarty. It doesn't end, not even when Moriarty is dead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Breath like Another Cigarette

**Author's Note:**

> Severin Moran is addicted to Jamie Moriarty. It doesn't end, not even when Moriarty is dead.
> 
> This is my first work on here so I apologise in advance if it's really bad. Thanks for reading anyway xx

Sometimes she kids herself that it’s Jamie, that it’s Jamie’s fingers giving her pleasure, her skilled tongue below her. Sometimes she closes her eyes and pretends that Jamie’s alive and here. Sometimes.

She used to kid herself that she and Jamie had a healthy relationship, that this dynamic between them was normal. She used to wonder what it would be like if they had ordinary lives and had ordinary jobs and were just plain ordinary. What it would be like if they worked normal jobs and they’d take it in turn to cook dinner for the other and curl up on the sofa together to watch Coronation Street. Sometimes she pretended that she was a normal person who could function in society without a rifle in her hands.  
It always ended in misery. A reminder of how fucked up she was, a reminder of how she can’t function without death in her life, a reminder that Jamie is gone, dead, buried with a gaping hole in the back of her head. 

Instead, she closes her eyes and tries to enjoy it, tries to pretend that this blonde head beneath her is doing a good job. He probably is doing a good job for anyone else, but no one will match up to Jamie and her skilled fingers and tongue. Even when Severin had full control, Jamie was dominant bending the illusion of free will she gifted Sev.  
She knows exactly what Jamie would have said to her seeing her like this, pressed up against a wall with her skirt and panties pooled around her ankles, her blouse riding up her stomach, her minimal makeup smudged and some blonde babyface between her legs. Hell, she’d said it before.

She’d push Severin against the wall, trapping her body with her own, invading her space. She’d nibble on Sev’s ear and slowly pull a knife from a bra, holding it against Sev’s throat to keep her breathing calm. She’d slowly nudge Sev’s legs open with her own, making sure the threat of her heels is carved into Sev’s mind.  
She’d whisper in Sev’s ear in a twisted, hushed voice, “Did you enjoy that Severin? Did he do it for you? Did he do it for you like I would?” Their relationship wasn’t healthy, Sev knew that, but it was an addiction, something she just couldn’t quit.

Sev would snarl a lie back, pushing against Jamie’s body with a twisted smirk on her face. She’d brag about how amazing the boy had been, lying about the numerous orgasms she had faked. She’d say enough to rile Jamie up enough for her to claim Sev’s body with her own. Jamie was possessive and Sev was addicted to her.  
And when it didn’t work, when Jamie saw straight through Sev’s lies, when Jamie commented on the slight jump in her pulse when she lies, Severin would smirk. She knew what she had to do to tip Jamie over the edge, to make her lose control, even just for a second. All she had to do was compare the boy to Jamie, pretend that the boy was anywhere near Jamie’s talent, pretend that the boy could pleasure her like Jamie could.

That was it, Jamie would push the knife a little deeper, drawing blood, pushing further against Sev with dark, lustful eyes and whisper angrily in her ear, “Say his name and my name in the same breath.” Jamie would plunge her fingers into Sev, the pleasure overwhelming the pain. It felt like she'd took in another breath of life like another cigarette in her obsession, her addiction. Her love for Jamie was a drag, but she couldn't quit it. One more hit became two more than three more, she couldn't quit and sometimes she just didn't want to.

“I dare you tiger, I dare you to say they taste the same,” she would growl, her voice rising to a higher volume, the anger clear, but with her control back. Severin would be too far from reality, so drunk on Jamie that she couldn’t even try to. Jamie would push her further, making more small cuts on Sev’s body, more claims. Eventually, Sev would be pushed over the edge and Jamie would make an almost proud remark before totting off on her heels, leaving Sev to regain her composure and clean up the mess that was her, her clothes and the floor.

It wasn’t healthy. This wasn’t a healthy, domestic relationship. They didn’t love each other... well, Jamie didn’t love Severin. They had never agreed to their relationship, they just fucked when one of them wanted to do. Jamie liked to take Sev’s control away, have her on her knees, completely dependent on Jamie. Severin could never listen to authority, but Jamie was an addiction, her ‘love’ was a drag. Severin took whatever she could, terrified she’d be replaced, cut off. She was aware that any night, Jamie might cut her throat and dispose of her. Their relationship depended entirely on death and chaos yet she couldn’t leave. She was addicted.

But Jamie wasn’t going to do that this time, Jamie wasn’t going to be angry about Severin’s ‘conquests’ or ‘lazy fucks’, Jamie was dead. Jamie had already replaced her before she’d shot her own goddamn brains out. Sev knew it, she knew she’d been replaced by Sherlock Holmes. God, she’d tried so hard to make Jamie jealous and possessive, cried so much for attention from Jamie. It hadn’t worked, Jamie had lost a little more interest every time to the point that the last time Sev had gone out for an easy lay, Jamie had just raised her eyebrows on her return, asking how many orgasms she had faked.

Now Severin could only imagine, she could only close her eyes and pretend that it was Jamie, try to fool herself that it was her. She never managed to. Instead, she’d close her eyes and try to at least enjoy it. They all tasted the same anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> come scream with me on [tumblr](https://island-of-asteria.tumblr.com/)


End file.
